Theme of 2011: Acceptance

3 Jan

So it has been many moons since i’ve posted anything on my blog ( 1 year 4 months). Where have I been and what have I been doing, you may be thinking in your head or out loud or not at all. For those of you inquiring or have a few minutes to spare here is my year. 2011 is over and in hindsight my entire year revolved around one central theme: Acceptance. I was working at a Special Events/Marketing/PR firm and loved my co workers and not so much my boss. It wasn’t a nurturing or fun environment to work, I began to feel incompetent, began boozing harder then I did in college and was always in a sour mood. After a night of clarity, I understood why I was unhappy–work life wasn’t conducive and educational. I accepted that fact, and after Superbowl Sunday I resigned. I knew I was going to miss my coworkers who’d I shared a bond with, but bonds are hard to be broken especially when you work with such incredible, unique, and talented individuals. We’ve all have moved to bigger and better jobs and we keep in touch.

After my stint there, I went back to work at my restaurant job and began to do some freelance PR work for some friends. I really wanted to focus on myself and figure out my next move. In my quest to find myself, some friends and I planned a road trip to New Orleans. What better way to find myself than in the land of jazz, food, and debauchery, I was so in. New Orleans was exactly what I needed to get over my hump. The food, delectable; the people, hospitable; and the drinks, interminable. As the majority of the group went on their merry way, Hadley and I ventured off on our own. We were intrigued by the history, the music, the people–who happened to be tourist and decided never to go back. The Big Easy taught me a lot, accept life for what it is: fun, tumultuous, never constant. A little piece of me stayed in NOLA, but a little piece of THE BIG EASY came back with me.

After my trip, Hadley who had been working with my old boss (my job in college, right before I accepted the job at the aforementioned PR firm) had contacted me and was irate I hadn’t told her I had quit. She gave me a part time position and I began working two jobs. I took what I learned and applied it to the current client list she had. I wanted to get out of the restaurant business, and so I decided to continue looking for a more permanent job. Which led me to a local Chamber of Commerce, I blew my initial interview because for some strange reason, perhaps karmic payback, my ear was clogged and I literally couldn’t understand the President of the Chamber interviewing me. It was so muffled, I thought I was speaking to the teacher from Charlie Brown…waa Waa Waaa waa Waa. I convinced him to let me volunteer and I would prove myself, and did I. They initially offered me a part time position, at this juncture I was working three jobs (Server, Communications Director, and Account Exec). A month comes and goes and I quit my restaurant gig, I was making enough money at the other two jobs, and let’s face it, working in the biz in Boca Raton isn’t my dream job.

Things started getting a lot better at my firm, we landed a big client, but at the time I wasn’t sure who the client was, just that I was working in the finance sector. Work started to become so abundant, I was working 12+ hours a day. Then came the ultimatum, I was offered a permanent position at the Chamber and at my PR firm. I didn’t know what to do, on one side I was eager to become an entrepreneur, on the other side I would have a position with great benefits in one of my favorite towns. I needed sometime to ponder this. I weighed my options, talked it over with my parents and friends, I took option A. I accepted the fact that I was making a hard decision and that nothing was secure, but if I didn’t take this opportunity I would’ve asked what if–never ask yourself what if.

I began working for full time by mid May, and things were going great, I changed my diet and became vegetarian to which I can say I am still holding strong. Everything was wonderful, I had an office, networking with very interesting individuals from all walks of life. Little did I know what war I was getting myself into. I continued working 12+ hours and began to see that I was carrying most of the team (all two of us, including me). Work began to pile up, stressors began to increase, and deadlines were being missed. It was time to figure out what to do, I began organizing ourselves a little better and began delegating projects to my boss. Things smoothed themselves over, for the most part. I also became very close with my clients PA, we began spending time outside of  work. We first began working out, then happy hour, then meeting her friends. It was awesome, I wanted to meet new people, especially people who were older and successful. Things were starting to look better! June rolled around and I booked tickets to see my best friend, who I had reconciled earlier in the year, in New York. Let me tell you, I did some hardcore shopping and partying for two reasons: A. It was my best friends birthday and most of my friends from High School now live in the Big Apple B. Gay marriage was legalized in the state! Yes, I partied hard! But all good things must come to an end. I learned that we are beginning to accept each other for who we are, best friends, LGBT community, and each other.

Work progressively got better and worse. Our client was becoming more of a nuisance and less of a client, and we began to work a lot harder, and by we I mean me. We hired a few people here and there but they weren’t working out. I began entering my clients world, a world of  lavish fashion, fast cars, and billion dollar houses. I began wondering what exactly he did, a question I’d wish I would’ve asked myself earlier. Summer in Florida was upon us and if you’re from this area you understand the humidity index. Later in the month of July, one of my favorite artist, Amy Winehouse, passed away. I know it was bound to happen, she was a hot mess, but I loved her unconditionally, like if she was my own child. Her music touched me, and I don’t mean in a private sexual way, but soulfully. Her music got me through some rough patches a few years back and I wish I could’ve told her personally. I also coined the term “Winehouse Wasted,” when I wanted to have an EXTREMELY Fun Time. I accepted the fact that people have personal demons to deal with and that people come in and out of your life and it is important to remember the positive.

In August, we started seeking a new employee because in reality, I was doing 75% of the the work and my poor fingers were working overtime into the wee hours of the morning–I felt exploited. I posted a Craigslist ad seeking help, my inbox was inundated in hours, after meticulous investigation through all the emails, we came across one girl who I’ve dubbed “Brown Baby.” A University of Florida graduate, Brown Baby, spoke three languages, worked on a Non-Profit AIDS campaign, studied in Spain, and liked my fashion sense–she was in. Brown Baby and I quickly bonded over music and food.  August was a challenging month, my dear friends mom had been diagnosed with early stages of breast cancer, and was undergoing a double mastectomy. I took a weekend off, the weekend my client was test driving a new eco-friendly vehicle and they wanted press on. So of course I took my laptop to work from out of town, and to my luck my computer crashed within a day of being out of town, and the closest Apple store was 1/2 hour away. I took it as a sign, instead of worrying about work, I was there with my friend and her family. I was receiving calls and texts about questions from my boss and Brown Baby, I then knew I was the cohesive glue in the team. I worked from my iPhone and did the best that I could. I accepted that you can not control things in life, and you need to take a deep breathe and let go–let life run its course.

September my favorite month because it’s my birthmonth! Yes, I am one of those individuals who tends to celebrate their birthday for obscenely long periods of time; but hey, it’s a blast! September was a great month, I was working out hardcore, going out and socializing and meeting new people. I even went on a few dates, which is actually atypical of me, knowing that I like to stay in my circle of friends, I gave it a try nonetheless. Brown Baby and I were hanging out a lot, checking out new restaurants, she introduced me to these local bands which I have become an honorary groupie to. I started dabbling in different genres of beer at this awesome little restaurant called The Coffee District. If you enjoy craft beer, than this is your place to be. My birthday weekend rolled around quickly and I stayed at The B Ocean in Ft. Lauderdale, I got a suite and it was on. I drank enough the night before and that morning to probably sedate a adult male elephant. My close friends came to celebrate and ring in 26 with me, it was a special night with special friends. I accepted that although you’re getting older and “wiser,” we’re still learning what are purpose is, with every year we get one step closer to figuring out that age old question.

October, was a very complicated month for me. I was trying to understand my stance in life, job, society, etc. I think October was the commencement of my rut. Our client had gotten into some trouble and we had been let go of our retainer. We quickly tried to pursue new leads, we (me) would write detailed proposals to help identify our potential clients core messages. Yea… we didn’t sign any new contracts. Slowly work began to crumble, Brown Baby started working less hours. I was in charge of mundane clients (my boss’s family, who were notorious for their neediness and constant attention). I had a few melt downs confessing to my boss that I was carrying most of the burden and there was no direction from her. To which she just brushed off and smiled. I began to search for new jobs and then the bomb dropped. My boss was letting me go in a month. FML. She did, however, set up appointments to help me locate local firms that may be a fit for me. I learned to accept the nothing lasts forever, learn to prioritize and save money!

I recently started my job at my new PR firm. My job is two fold, working on project management as well as PR duties. I was proud of myself for stepping into this type of roll–it challenges me to try something out of my comfort zone. And for a first time in a very long time, I am happy at my firm. My boss’s are great and amount of knowledge that is being installed in me, is only going to mold me into a better publicist. In hindsight, 2011 was a great year for to transition to who I was into who I am going to become. I’ve come to accept numerous situations that at a younger age I would have just given up on or not face adversity with a shit-eating grin. I accepted myself for who I am and who I will become and accepted those around me for who they truly are. I’ve come to terms on investing time in friends and family, because time is one precious gift that we can never get back, there is no need to waste any second being petty, sad, or worrisome.


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